Talking About Porn Use
Prepare a conversation about your own porn use without feeling you must explain everything at once. Choose the person, the purpose and the details that help them understand what you need.
For: People seeking help or planning their own support · 3 PDF pages
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Original scripts: different conversations have different jobs
| Who I am talking with | Possible opening |
|---|---|
| A clinician or counselor | I am concerned about my porn use. I want help understanding what is happening and how to approach it without deciding the label myself. |
| A trusted friend | Could we talk privately? I would like you to listen while I explain something I have been finding difficult. |
| A partner | I want to talk about how my use and our expectations are affecting us. Is there a time when we can each explain what matters to us? |
Original example: describe the pattern without presenting a verdict
| Less useful as a starting point | More specific information to discuss |
|---|---|
| I am broken. | I keep spending more time than I planned and it is affecting my sleep. |
| Nothing works. | I tried changing my evening routine for a week. It helped on some days, but I still have questions about what happens on stressful evenings. |
My conversation notes
- What has been happening and its effect on me
- One example, the impact I want understood, and what I am unsure about. You do not need graphic details to begin.
- What I have tried and what I learned
- What helped, what did not, and what I would like help understanding.
- My opening and one request
- Who I am speaking with; listening, information, assessment or another kind of help I want.
Questions for a professional, if that is the next step
- What experience do you have helping people with concerns like mine?
- How would you understand my concerns and decide what support fits?
- What are the confidentiality arrangements and their limits?
- What are the fees, format and next steps?
Afterward
- What was agreed and what remains open
- A next conversation, question or contact; do not record an agreement that was not made.