How to Ask for Help When You Do Not Know What to Say
You can ask for help without explaining everything at once. Choose the kind of response you want today: listening, a practical favor, or help finding care.
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SAMHSA suggests thinking about what you need, choosing someone you trust, and arranging a time and place where you can talk privately. If you are not ready for a full conversation, you can start small.
Sources: [1]
Choose an opening that fits the person
Scroll the table sideways on a small screen to compare all columns.
| Who you are asking | Original example wording | Make the request concrete |
|---|---|---|
| A friend or family member | Could we talk privately? I am having a hard time with my substance use. I need someone to listen before offering advice. | Could you give me ten minutes this evening? |
| A clinician or intake worker | I am worried about my use and want help understanding it. I do not know what kind of care to ask for. | Can I arrange an assessment, and what should I bring? |
| Someone who can help with a task | I want to make a call but keep putting it off. | Could you sit with me while I call? I would like to do the talking. |
| Someone you cannot speak with now | There is something personal I would like to discuss when we have privacy. | When would be a good time? |
Make one opening your own
- My opening and request
- Use a line above or your own words. You can keep the details brief.
- Who, when and how
- Name or role; a private place or contact method; what you will do if they are unavailable.