My Boundaries at Work and Social Events
Prepare a few words for an invitation or personal question before you are put on the spot. You decide what you want to share; this guide does not determine workplace rights or disclosure requirements.
To print this guide, use your browser’s Print command.
No email or account is required. Use the PDF or printed spaces for private notes. This guide does not collect worksheet answers. Save and reopen a completed PDF to check your notes.
Original response cards: choose your level of detail
Scroll the table sideways on a small screen to compare all columns.
| Situation | Brief response | If the question continues |
|---|---|---|
| Someone offers a drink | No thanks. I would like sparkling water. | That is what I am having tonight. |
| A colleague asks about an appointment | I have an appointment at that time. | I would rather keep the details private. Can we talk about scheduling? |
| An invitation does not fit | I cannot make that event. Would you like to meet for lunch another day? | Thanks for inviting me; I am going to pass this time. |
| Someone asks for your recovery story | I am not ready to talk about that here. | I appreciate your concern. Let’s change the subject. |
These are optional scripts, not a test of assertiveness. Change the wording to sound like you. A different setting, activity or conversation may fit you better.
Prepare for one situation
- The situation and what I want
- Event, question or request; my preferred outcome.
- My first response and a repeat
- Two short lines I can actually say.
- A practical arrangement
- Transport, a different activity, a chosen companion or a scheduling request; what needs confirmation.
SAMHSA suggests telling a trusted person what kind of help you need. You could ask someone to change the subject, join an alternative activity, or be available for a conversation afterward.
Sources: [1]