Family Support Starter Kit

Support someone you care about while making room for your own needs. Choose the section that fits today: ask for support, prepare a conversation, help with an appointment, or agree on practical arrangements. You do not have to complete every page.

No email or account is required. Use the PDF or printed spaces for private notes. This guide does not collect worksheet answers. Save and reopen a completed PDF to check your notes.

Included Sections

• What Support Do I Need as a Family Member?
• Comparing Family Support Groups
• I Am Worried About Someone: Preparing a Conversation
• Family Boundaries Without Punishment
• Helping With an Appointment
• Preparing for a Family Treatment Session
• Supporting Recovery After a Return Home
• Explaining a Parent’s Treatment to a Child

Choose where to begin

My own family-support contacts

A person or service for my support

Name/role; how to contact them; what they can help with; when they are available. This is your support contact, not permission to access another person’s records.

A practical helper or backup

Name/contact; exact task they agreed to; what remains unconfirmed.

What Support Do I Need as a Family Member?

Your needs deserve attention while you support someone else. Start with the part of your own day that needs help; this is not an assessment of how well you are caring for another person.

SAMHSA recognizes that supporting a loved one can be taxing and encourages caregivers to attend to their own health. Family support groups, therapy or counseling are among the options families can explore.

Sources: [1]

Original examples: name your need separately

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Choose the kind of support you want

• Practical: a shared task, a ride, meals or time away from a responsibility.
• Personal: someone who can listen without asking you to solve everything.
• Professional: your own healthcare or counseling conversation.
• Peer: a group specifically for family members or other supporters; ask whom it serves and what participation involves.

My request, for me

One need I want to address

What I need and why it matters to my day.

Who I will ask and what I will say

Name/service; a specific request; how and when I will contact them.

If that option is unavailable

Another person/service or a smaller request; what I need help finding.

Read more or take the next step

• SAMHSA: Helping Families Cope
• SAMHSA: How to Ask for Help

Comparing Family Support Groups

You can seek support for yourself even while someone else is deciding about treatment. Compare the approach and practical fit of a meeting, then give yourself room to decide whether it helps.

Four Places to Start

Scroll the table sideways on a small screen to compare all columns.

Sources: [3] [4] [5] [6]

Ask Before the First Meeting

• Is this meeting for family/friends, and does it fit my age and situation?
• Is it online or in person? What is the current time, time zone and access process?
• Can a newcomer listen first? How is discussion handled?
• What approach does the group use, including any spiritual language?
• What are the privacy expectations? Are contributions optional or materials sold separately?

These organizations offer peer or mutual support; the descriptions are not ratings or proof that one approach works best for everyone. A support meeting does not provide emergency care or replace a clinician when medical or mental health treatment is needed.

Sources: [3] [4] [5] [6]

Compare Your Experience

Meeting and access details

Organization, meeting name, format, time zone and contact.

What fit and what did not

Approach, welcome, privacy questions and something useful you heard.

Your next support step

Try again, contact another group or ask a professional about your own needs.

Use the Organizations’ Current Meeting Information

• Al-Anon Family Groups: Newcomers
• Nar-Anon: What Is Nar-Anon?
• SMART Recovery Family & Friends
• Families Anonymous

I Am Worried About Someone: Preparing a Conversation

Use this guide to prepare a caring conversation about substance use. Focus on what you have noticed, what the person wants to share, and a realistic offer of help.

Make room for their view

SAMHSA recommends speaking with kindness, asking open questions and listening without judgment. More than one conversation may be needed. You can summarize what you heard and ask whether you understood it correctly, then ask what support the person wants.

Sources: [7]

Before you begin

• Choose a time and place where you can speak privately and listen. Ask whether now is a workable time.
• Use a concrete observation instead of assigning a diagnosis or guessing a motive.
• Offer a specific task you can genuinely do, such as sitting together during a call or helping find a provider.
• If they do not want to talk, say that you are willing to listen later and ask whether a follow-up is welcome. Do not promise that one conversation will change their use.

Sources: [7] [2]

A conversation, not an interrogation

Hypothetical example — adapt to the relationship

Sources: [7]

Safety can change the conversation

Sources: [8] [9]

For emotional distress or a mental-health, suicide or substance-use crisis in the U.S., you can call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org, including when you are concerned about another person. You can also seek support for your own wellbeing; caring for someone does not mean you must handle everything alone.

Sources: [10] [1]

My conversation notes

One or two observations

Describe what you directly noticed and why it concerns you; leave out labels and guessed motives.

My opening and an open question

Use your own words and leave room for a different perspective.

What I heard

Their view, questions, preferences and anything I need to clarify.

Help I can offer and limits I need

A realistic task; what I cannot safely or reliably take on.

What we agreed, if anything

Who will do what, whether follow-up is welcome, and when. No agreement is also an honest result to record.

Support for me

A trusted person, counselor or family support option I can contact.

Keep completed notes private. Share only what you choose with the people helping you. These are original educational and planning prompts, not a validated assessment.

Useful next steps

• SAMHSA conversation guidance
• 988 support for yourself or someone else
• Find treatment options

Family Boundaries Without Punishment

Use this guide to describe what you can offer, what you cannot do, and what you will do yourself. It is written for family members and other supporters making ordinary practical arrangements with another adult.

SAMHSA encourages supportive listening and attention to caregivers’ own health. The boundary examples below are original communication prompts; they are not a tested treatment method or rules every household should adopt.

Sources: [1] [7]

Original examples: describe your own action

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Check the boundary before saying it

• Does it describe an action or resource that is actually mine to decide?
• Can I say it without demanding a confession, agreement or change of feeling?
• Am I offering help I can realistically give?
• Have I separated an ordinary arrangement from an urgent or unsafe situation?

Prepare one conversation

The practical issue

Describe what has happened and what it affects for you, without assigning a label.

My limit and any offer

I can __. I cannot __. If helpful, I can offer __ instead.

How I will follow through and seek support

An action within my control; a trusted person or professional to help me think it through.

Read more or take the next step

• SAMHSA: Helping Families Cope
• SAMHSA: Talking to Someone About Help

Helping With an Appointment

Ask what help the person wants before arranging it. You can offer a limited, useful task such as a ride, company in the waiting room, or help remembering a question.

SAMHSA recommends listening, asking how support would help and agreeing on follow-up. In treatment, family involvement can reflect the wishes of the person receiving care.

Sources: [7] [11]

Original example: helping while leaving choices with the person

Agree on the task first

• Confirm the date, pickup or meeting place, and the time you are both allowing.
• Ask whether they want you present, speaking or taking notes; do not treat one permission as permission for all three.
• Ask before contacting the provider on their behalf; the provider may need its own permission process.
• Agree where any notes belong and what should stay private.
• Say when you are unavailable so a backup can be arranged.

Our practical agreement

What help was requested

The task, what I can offer, and anything they do not want me to do.

Visit and travel details they want me to know

Date/time/place; confirmed arrangements; backup contact.

Question or follow-up they want supported

Their priority, my agreed role, and the next contact/time.

Read more or take the next step

• SAMHSA: Talking to Someone About Help
• SAMHSA: Finding Quality Treatment

Preparing for a Family Treatment Session

A family session can involve different hopes and concerns. Ask what the session is for, who is taking part, and how the clinician wants each person to prepare.

SAMHSA’s quality-treatment guidance describes family involvement as something that can be included when desired by the person receiving care. Family-support guidance also points to therapy and counseling for the family. This worksheet does not decide who may participate or what information a clinician may disclose.

Sources: [11] [1]

Questions for the clinician before the session

My preparation

My most important issue or question

Describe an example and what you hope to understand or work out.

Privacy or participation questions to ask first

What do I want clarified before sharing? Keep anything especially sensitive on a separate private note if preferred.

Before the meeting ends

• Ask what, if anything, was agreed.
• Name any issue that is still unresolved.
• Confirm who will take each next step and how follow-up will happen.
• Ask whom to contact with questions about the session or plan.

The follow-up we actually agreed

Agreement, person and next step

Write only confirmed arrangements. Keep unanswered issues visible.

Read more or take the next step

• SAMHSA: Finding Quality Treatment
• SAMHSA: Helping Families Cope

Supporting Recovery After a Return Home

Plan the ordinary arrangements of returning home together, where it is safe and appropriate to do so. The person returning and the people at home can each name their own needs, offers and limits.

SAMHSA includes family participation when desired and practical life supports among quality-care considerations. NIAAA recommends discussing continuing care and how a program supports the transition after treatment. Use actual care-team instructions alongside this household conversation.

Sources: [11] [12]

Original worked example: an agreement has an owner

Scroll the table sideways on a small screen to compare all columns.

Topics to choose from

• Rest, personal space and communication preferences.
• Appointments, travel and any care arrangements the person wants help coordinating.
• Meals, chores, work and caregiving responsibilities.
• What help each person offers and what they cannot do.
• How to raise a concern, request a change or contact professional support.

Our agreed arrangements

Person returning: what I want help with and what I want to handle myself

Write only what you choose to share with the household.

Other household members: needs, offers and limits

Name each person’s practical role without assigning them responsibility for another adult’s recovery.

Confirmed plan and open questions

Task; who agreed to it; when; what needs checking. Use another copy for more arrangements.

When and how we will review it

Date/occasion; who will join; the contact to ask if care questions arise.

Read more or take the next step

• SAMHSA: Finding Quality Treatment
• NIAAA: Questions for Alcohol Treatment Programs

Explaining a Parent’s Treatment to a Child

Children need an explanation they can understand and a clear plan for who will care for them. Start with what they have noticed. Use the examples below as starting words, then answer the child’s actual questions.

Keep Three Things Clear

• The problem is not the child’s fault or responsibility to fix.
• Name the adult who will care for them and explain the next familiar part of the day.
• Leave room for feelings and questions. If you do not know an answer, say what you will find out.

Sources: [13]

Do not promise that a problem will never happen again. Give a return date only when it is confirmed, and explain that plans can change. Say what is known now: who is caring for the child, what routine stays the same, and when you will check in again. These sample scripts are conversation aids, not a required age-based formula.

Make the Care Plan Concrete

What the child already knows or has asked

Their words, concerns and what needs a simple explanation.

Who is caring for the child

Names, phone numbers, school pickup, meals, bedtime and backup arrangements.

What you will say and check next

Only promises you can keep; trusted adult the child can contact; next check-in.

More Support for Children

• Sesame Workshop: parental addiction resources
• Find treatment help