CopeWell: A Little Space Between Feeling and Doing

I’ve spent more than 21 years in recovery from drugs and alcohol, and one of the biggest revelations along the way was discovering that putting down the substances didn’t necessarily mean I’d stopped looking for ways to escape myself.

As it turns out, the human brain is remarkably creative at finding new ways to make a mess.

For me, being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) helped explain a lot. Why my emotions could go from zero to the apocalypse in thirty seconds. Why I could invent entire storylines in my head, cast myself (and others) as the villain, and then spend hours reacting to a movie that nobody else was watching.

And why, for so long, I reached for substances or other behaviors to quiet the noise, only to find myself feeling worse afterward.

My diagnosis didn’t excuse the damage I’d done, but it helped me understand it. And understanding gave me a chance to change, rebuild relationships, and start becoming someone I actually liked being.

For the past five years, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has been an enormous part of that journey. I genuinely believe it’s helped save my life.

A special thank-you to Eric Olin at DBT Orlando, whose guidance has helped me learn something that sounds painfully obvious but took me decades to figure out:

Not every feeling needs a sequel.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is stop writing the next scene.

DBT has taught me how to slow down, observe what’s actually happening, and buy myself enough time to choose what happens next. And sometimes that means doing something as simple as playing a game.

Which brings me to CopeWell.

We’ve just launched CopeWell, a free iPhone app from AddictionHelp.com, with an Android version coming soon.

It’s part puzzle playground, part coping toolbox, and part escape hatch for those moments when your brain decides to declare a five-alarm emergency over something that might not even be happening.

But it’s not just about distraction.

I wanted to create a little wormhole in time. A safe place to crawl into when the emotional storm hits and it feels like everything is about to be swept away.

Somewhere you can observe, describe, participate, and immerse yourself in something simple but satisfying. Where you can untangle a puzzle instead of another imaginary catastrophe. Where you can move a few blocks around instead of moving heaven and earth to fix a feeling that might pass on its own.

We built four games and a collection of practical coping tools to help people slow down, examine their thoughts, and find a little breathing room.

And yes, I insisted it be beautiful. If we’re going to build an escape hatch for the human mind, it should at least have decent lighting.

We also did our homework. CopeWell isn’t a clinically validated treatment or a replacement for professional help. But we drew on published research, lived experience, and professional perspectives to build something thoughtful. You can explore the research and reasoning behind it in our methodology at copewell.io.

My hope is simple.

Maybe someone opens CopeWell instead of picking up a substance. Maybe someone works through a puzzle instead of acting on an impulse that would leave them carrying another suitcase full of shame.

Maybe it just gives someone ten minutes to realize that the world isn’t actually ending.

I’ve learned that sometimes ten minutes can change everything.

CopeWell is meant to be your moment. A little way out of the maze of real life, where you can process the moment before it processes you.

And if it helps even one person find their way through a storm without becoming part of the wreckage, that’s a pretty wonderful thing.

Try CopeWell free for iPhone. Android is coming soon.

Chris Carberg
Co-Founder, AddictionHelp.com