Causes of Love Addiction

What Causes Love Addiction?

Some researchers believe that love addiction is a type of behavioral addiction.

Falling in love can impact your brain’s reward system and release “feel-good” chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. This chemical cocktail helps you feel happiness and pleasure.

While these feelings can be a beautiful thing in healthy relationships, some people might grow too attached to the “reward” that comes from their romantic interest. Falling in love can impact your brain’s reward system in a similar way to addictive substances like alcohol and drugs.

While you can’t grow physically dependent on love the same way you can with opioids or benzodiazepines, you may feel like you can’t go on without your partner.

Over time, your obsession with your partner, or finding a new relationship, may become more and more central to your life, to the point where it’s the only thing that matters.

What Is Love Addiction?

Love addiction isn’t an official diagnosis in the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition). Instead, it’s a general term researchers often use to describe “an obsessive and compulsive preoccupation with romantic relationships,” often negatively affecting your health and well-being.

Those with love addiction may become consumed by feelings of love and an intense fear of abandonment, leading to unhealthy behaviors and attachment patterns.

Over time, this obsession with romantic love can interfere with their daily lives, making professional help necessary to get them back on track.

Who Is At Risk for Developing Love Addiction?

Many people form romantic attachments without becoming addicted to love.

However, some people may be more likely to develop an obsessive focus on relationships due to underlying causes (like trauma or unmet emotional needs) combined with the following common risk factors.

Insecure Attachment Style

“Attachment theory” is the idea that we all develop certain “attachment styles” during childhood based on how parents or caregivers interact with us. These attachment styles may influence how we react in our adult relationships, including romantic ones.

Some research connects insecure attachment styles with higher rates of love or sex addiction, including: 

• Anxious attachment: People with anxious attachments tend to feel scared that their partners don’t love them and fear rejection. They may also be prone to codependent behavior in relationships.
• Avoidant attachment: People with an avoidant attachment style may have a pattern of behavior where they fear getting too close in relationships. They might rely on addictive behaviors to feel good without dealing with emotional closeness.
• Ambivalent attachment: Children with ambivalent attachment styles have conflicting feelings toward their caregivers and may seek attention one minute and then resist close contact the next. Adults may carry this behavior to romantic relationships by being afraid of forming deep attachments despite wanting companionship.

Having one of these attachment styles doesn’t mean you’re a love addict. However, people with these styles may be more likely to develop addictive behaviors related to relationships or sex.

Low Self-Esteem

A 2023 study connected low self-esteem with love addiction. This may be because people with insecure attachment styles often have low self-worth.

People with low self-esteem may also be more susceptible to behavioral addictions and can be more likely to over-rely on other people, which may play a role in love addiction.

Age and Gender

Some research indicates that your age or gender may affect your risk of developing love addiction.

According to a 2024 survey of 600 people, men were more likely to have love addictions than women, particularly concerning pathological behavior toward their partners. Younger people were also more likely to have more intense love addictions than older respondents.

Mental Health Conditions

Some people with love addictions also have co-occurring mental illnesses, especially those associated with obsessive or impulsive behaviors.

While there isn’t a lot of research specifically exploring the correlation, some of the following mental health conditions can play a role:

• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): People with OCD experience distressing “obsessive” thoughts that they soothe through compulsive behavior, which might be self-destructive.
• Impulse control disorders (ICDs): These behavior disorders make it more challenging to control your reactions or impulses, which can cause turmoil with romantic partners.
• Depression or anxiety: The brain’s “reward system” may work differently in people with depression or anxiety, especially in regions of the brain that control emotional regulation and cravings. As a result, people who are anxious or depressed might be vulnerable to love addiction.

Unsolved Trauma

People with unsolved traumas may turn to love addiction as a coping mechanism. You might obsess over your partner as a way to escape from painful memories or feelings in your past. You may also believe that your partner or relationship will heal your traumas.

The trauma doesn’t need to be related to a romantic relationship. Like your attachment style, it can also be rooted in childhood trauma.

A 2024 pilot study of 910 people found that love addiction was frequently associated with experiencing emotional or physical abuse during childhood.

Consequences of Love Addiction

While a healthy relationship can help you feel valued and appreciated, love addiction can instead cause turmoil, isolation, and pain.

The ripple effects of love addiction are similar to those from other addictions and may include the following:

Obsession With Love

You may fixate on your partner (or love interest) above all other relationships, like those with your family and friends. Some people even abandon any relationships outside their romance.

Neglecting Work and School

Beyond spending all your social time with your partner, you may prioritize romantic relationships over other responsibilities or activities in your life. You might neglect work, school, hobbies, or your self-care.

Unhealthy Relationships

You could find yourself in a pattern of toxic relationships. You might be unable to leave a relationship despite negative consequences—even if it involves physical or emotional abuse.

Unrealistic Expectations

You may have overly high standards or hopes for your love interest, such as believing that they’re the only thing that can make you happy or that your relationship will heal past issues, such as childhood trauma or attachment problems.

Intense Emotions

Love addiction might cause more intense emotions than you’d feel in a healthy relationship. You might feel euphoric when you’re with your partner but overwhelmed with anxiety or fear when they’re not around.

How to Prevent Love Addiction

Because love addiction is under-studied, scientists don’t yet know of a way to prevent the condition.

But if you recognize the above signs in your past or current relationships, some of the ways you can begin to break the cycle include:

• Asking friends and family for outside perspectives
• Talking openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings
• Adjusting your expectations for what a healthy relationship will bring to your life
• Seeking individual or couples therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, from a mental health professional.

Find Help for Love Addiction

If you’re struggling with love addiction, help is available. You don’t have to give up on relationships—finding the right support can help you build healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Consider reaching out to a licensed therapist who specializes in behavioral addictions. You can search for professionals in your area using the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) online treatment locator or by calling 1-800-662-4357.

Support groups like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or Love Addicts Anonymous offer structured 12-step programs where you can connect with others who understand your experiences. These groups provide guidance, accountability, and a community of support on your journey to recovery.

If you are in a physically abusive relationship or otherwise fear for your safety, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233 or by texting “START” to 88788.

Visit our treatment help page today to explore more treatment options and find the right support for your recovery. You don’t have to do this alone—help is just a step away.

Written by

Brooke Helton

Medical Content Writer

Brooke Helton is a freelance writer passionate about wellness topics, especially the relationship between physical and mental health. As a contributor to AddictionHelp.com, she’s proud to combine her writing and research skills to inform and empower people impacted by substance abuse.

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Kent S. Hoffman, D.O.

Founder & Chief Medical Officer

Kent S. Hoffman, D.O. has been an expert in addiction medicine for more than 15 years. In addition to managing a successful family medical practice, Dr. Hoffman is board certified in addiction medicine by the American Osteopathic Academy of Addiction Medicine (AOAAM). Dr. Hoffman has successfully treated hundreds of patients battling addiction. Dr. Hoffman is the Co-Founder and Chief Medical Officer of AddictionHelp.com and ensures the website’s medical content and messaging quality.