Warning Signs of Love Addiction
Relationship preoccupation can disrupt responsibilities, well-being and other connections. These warning signs are prompts for assessment, not a diagnostic checklist.
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Warning Signs of Love Addiction
Love addiction is not a formal diagnosis, so there is no official checklist that can diagnose it. The patterns below can help you describe concerns about relationships, daily functioning and safety when seeking support.[1]
Cleveland Clinic psychologist Gina Gerardo, PhD, describes one troubling pattern: “Your emotional stability or sense of self-worth often depends heavily on another person.” Consider what is happening in daily life rather than counting signs as a test.[1]
Preoccupation with Your Partner
Love addiction can involve preoccupation that interferes with work, school, hobbies or self-care.[1]
You may become so obsessed with your partner that you want to do nothing else but spend time with them.
Emotional highs and lows, cravings for attention and difficulty focusing on other responsibilities can be concerning. Similarities with addiction do not establish that a relationship pattern is the same as a substance use disorder.[1][3]
If you aren’t currently in a romantic relationship, finding a new relationship may be the only thing on your mind.[1]
Repeated Short-Lived Relationships
Some people repeatedly move between intense, short-lived relationships or quickly seek another relationship to avoid being alone. A short relationship by itself is not a sign of a disorder.[1]
Wanting to relive the early excitement may be part of the pattern. Research comparing romantic love with addiction does not establish that a particular brain chemical causes love addiction.[1][3]
Difficulty Leaving a Harmful Relationship
You may recognize that a relationship harms your well-being or safety and still find it difficult to leave. That does not establish love addiction. Abuse and barriers to leaving require attention in their own right, and the person being abused is not responsible for the abuse.[4][5]
If there are threats or controlling behavior, a domestic violence advocate can help you consider safety options. Do not treat leaving as a simple test of willpower.[5]
Fear of Abandonment
A review of studies found an association between love-addiction scores and anxious attachment, a pattern involving insecurity and fears of rejection in close relationships. This association does not prove that attachment style causes love addiction.[6]
You may wonder if your partner loves you back, or you may struggle with intrusive thoughts about your relationship.
Separation may bring distress, and you may repeatedly seek reassurance or validation. These experiences deserve discussion if they disrupt daily life. They should not be assumed to be a drug-like withdrawal syndrome.[1]
Extreme Emotional Highs and Lows
You can feel on top of the world when you’re in love. Some people describe euphoria, or intense happiness, when with a partner. Intensity alone does not establish a disorder.[1]
Your sense of self-worth or stability may depend heavily on the relationship.[1]
At the same time, the “lows” may also feel more intense, filled with fear, doubts, and anxiety. Notice whether these emotional shifts interfere with sleep, responsibilities or well-being.[1]
Losing Contact with Other People
Consider whether your relationship leaves room for friends, family and other important connections.[1]
You may spend less and less time with friends or family because the romantic relationship has become all-consuming.[1]
What to Do If You Recognize These Signs
If any of the above signs sound familiar, the good news is that help is available for behavioral addictions.
The next step depends on your concerns, your safety and whether you are seeking help for yourself or support around a partner’s behavior.
However, the following resources can be a good place to start.
Noticing Love Addiction in Yourself
Recognizing a pattern gives you something concrete to discuss during an assessment.
If you notice patterns that indicate unhealthy behaviors in your relationships or the need for constant emotional validation, it’s important to take proactive steps.
Here are some ways to seek help for love addiction:
- Leaning on friends and family: Falling in love can make you see the world through “rose-colored glasses.” If you’re worried that you don’t view your relationship clearly, ask trusted loved ones for an outside perspective.
- Therapy: Approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you identify unhealthy patterns, reframe negative beliefs, and build healthier emotional responses. Ask a clinician whether this approach fits your concerns. Research specifically on treatment for love addiction remains limited.[7][8]
- Couples therapy: Counseling together may help partners discuss relationship difficulties when there is no abuse. If a partner is abusive or controlling, seek individual support instead. The National Domestic Violence Hotline warns that joint counseling can increase risk, including retaliation after a session.[2]
- Medication: Love addiction may overlap with conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which involves recurring uncontrollable thoughts or repetitive excessive behaviors, and depression.[9] Medication decisions should address a condition diagnosed by a qualified clinician. Do not assume there is an established medication treatment for love addiction.[8]
- Support groups: Some people seek peer support through 12-step groups, such as Love Addicts Anonymous.
- Rehab: Do not assume a behavioral addiction rehab program treats these concerns. Ask a program what assessment and care it actually provides, who provides it, and whether the setting fits your needs. A behavioral addiction listing does not establish love-addiction expertise.[10]
Love Addiction in a Partner
If you are considering asking a partner to seek help, first consider your safety. If there is abuse, threats, or controlling behavior, speak privately with a domestic violence advocate before confronting the partner or arranging a group conversation. An advocate can help you consider safety options.[2]
Patterns you may notice in a partner include the following. They are concerns to discuss, not a diagnostic checklist:[1]
- Constantly seeking your reassurance and validation
- Expressing intense fear of being alone or abandoned
- Staying in the relationship despite ongoing conflict or harm
- Becoming overly preoccupied with the relationship at the expense of other responsibilities
- Prioritizing the relationship over their own well-being or personal growth
Find Help for Love Addiction
If relationship preoccupation is distressing or disruptive, ask a licensed mental health professional about individual assessment. Our love addiction overview explains the term and the limits of current treatment research.[1][10]
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) offers mental health and substance use referrals through its online treatment locator or national helpline at 1-800-662-4357. Ask a suggested provider about experience with your specific concerns. A referral does not establish love-addiction expertise.[11][12]
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous and Love Addicts Anonymous describe 12-step peer-support programs. Shared support can be useful to discuss with your clinician, but a group’s existence or recovery testimonials do not establish treatment efficacy.[13][14][8]
If you are experiencing abuse, threats or controlling behavior, seek individual safety support. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. Consider a safer device if yours may be monitored.[4]
If you are considering online therapy support, ask the provider: “How would you assess these relationship patterns, and what would make individual care appropriate for me?”[10]
For suicidal thoughts or emotional distress in the United States, call 988 or text 988. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.[10]
FAQs About the Warning Signs of Love Addiction
What Is the Difference Between Infatuation and Love Addiction?
Intense feelings can occur when falling in love. The concern is whether preoccupation repeatedly disrupts responsibilities, other relationships or well-being. Love addiction is not a formal diagnosis, and relationship length or intensity alone cannot identify it.[1]
Can Someone with These Patterns Have Healthy Relationships?
People can seek support for distressing relationship patterns without giving up on relationships. Individual assessment can identify the concerns and suitable care. Research specifically on love-addiction treatment remains limited, so no approach can guarantee a particular relationship outcome.[1][8]
What Should I Do If I Am Concerned About My Partner?
If you are concerned about a partner’s behavior, consider individual professional support. Couples counseling may help with relationship difficulties when there is no abuse, but the National Domestic Violence Hotline advises against attending counseling with an abusive partner because it can increase risk.[2]
If there is abuse, threats, or controlling behavior, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788. Call 911 if anyone is in immediate danger.[10][4]
How Can I Identify Signs of Love Addiction?
Notice whether thoughts about a partner or finding a relationship crowd out work, school, hobbies, friends or self-care. Repeatedly seeking reassurance or moving quickly between relationships to avoid being alone may also be worth discussing. These examples are not a diagnostic checklist.[1]
Can You Experience Withdrawal from Love Addiction?
People sometimes use “emotional withdrawal” to describe distress when separated from someone. That phrase does not establish a drug-like physical withdrawal syndrome. Intrusive thoughts, anxiety or low mood deserve assessment if they disrupt daily life.[1]
For suicidal thoughts in the United States, call 988 or text 988. Call 911 if anyone is in immediate danger.[10]
Get Treatment Help
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