Counseling for Love Addiction

What Is Love Addiction?

Love addiction is a type of behavioral addiction that causes an obsession with romantic relationships and falling in love.

It isn’t an official diagnosis in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic And Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition). However, many researchers believe there is enough evidence to classify love addiction as a separate condition.

Some evidence indicates that there may be two distinct types of love addiction, which correspond to different stages of love in healthy romantic relationships.

• Infatuation-type: This form of love addiction involves compulsive behavior, as you constantly crave the early stages of falling in love with a new romantic partner. You may cycle through partners repeatedly, chasing the “high” of infatuation.
• Attachment-type: People with this type of love addiction form obsessive attachments with their partners. You may feel distressed when your partner isn’t around or have unrealistic expectations for your relationship.

Goals of Love Addiction Counseling

The overall goal of love addiction counseling is to address any underlying issues that may contribute to your unhealthy relationship patterns so you can learn how to cope with addictive behavior.

Love addiction counseling isn’t necessarily meant to “save” your existing relationship. However, counseling sessions with your partner may allow you to work through potential relationship issues safely.

Types of Counseling for Love Addiction

You can go through counseling for love addiction by yourself or with other people involved through the following methods.

Individual Therapy

Individual therapy is the most common type of counseling, making up about 95% of therapy services in private practice.

In individual therapy sessions, you and your therapist will converse privately so you can share your thoughts without fear of judgment.

They can help you explore where your love addiction might come from and come up with short and long-term goals to address your addictive behavior.

Group Counseling

In group therapy, sessions typically involve 5 to 15 other people over one to two hours. Everyone in attendance can participate while a licensed therapist guides the discussion. Some preliminary research indicates that group therapy can be effective in treating love addiction.

One small study followed eight love-addicted participants through an 18-week group therapy program. Five of the eight participants had better attitudes toward love after treatment, but the small sample size means we still need more research.

Couples Counseling

If your goal is to manage better the toll that love addiction takes on your current relationship, couples counseling may be a good choice.

In couples counseling, you and your partner will attend sessions together and gain a helpful outside perspective on your relationship from your therapist.

Some types of couples counseling specifically address addiction, like behavioral couple therapy (BCT), which helps your partner understand how to support your healing journey.

Family Therapy

Addiction can impact your entire family system. So, family therapy gives you and your loved ones a chance to air your feelings in a safe and supportive environment.

Family therapy sessions can involve any combination of family members, such as a spouse and children or parents and siblings.

It can help you and your loved ones address unpleasant feelings, foster better interactions, and learn how to better support each other, especially concerning your love addiction recovery.

Key Techniques Used in Love Addiction Counseling

Since love addiction isn’t an official diagnosis, there isn’t a lot of evidence directly exploring effective counseling methods.

That said, researchers have theories about the types of counseling that may help you achieve more healthy relationships.

Additionally, we do have evidence that certain counseling types may help with contributing factors to love addiction, like your attachment style, low self-esteem, or childhood trauma.

With that in mind, the following therapy types may be helpful for love addiction.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on identifying negative thought patterns and teaching you how to improve them.

There aren’t any studies that directly explore CBT’s impact on love addiction, but researchers believe it could be helpful since it could teach you how to cope with unhelpful beliefs that impact your relationships.

For example, if you often catastrophize over your partner leaving you, CBT techniques may teach you how to stop spiraling.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a sub-type of CBT that focuses on managing powerful emotions. You’ll learn how to avoid self-destructive outlets when intense emotions threaten to overwhelm you.

No studies have investigated DBT’s potential impact on love addiction. However, since many love addicts experience extreme emotional highs and lows, DBT might offer tools to break the cycle.

Psychodynamic Therapy

Some people with love addiction have underlying childhood trauma, meaning they might benefit from psychodynamic psychotherapy. However, no studies have directly investigated the link.

Psychodynamic therapy is a technique that helps you explore the link between your past and your current behavior patterns. You’ll work with your therapist to identify recurring themes or thoughts so you’ll have better self-awareness.

For example, you might realize that you only pursue emotionally unavailable partners or that you believe your partner can “fix” other issues in your life.

Mindfulness-Based Therapy

Mindfulness is a practice that helps you become more aware of your feelings and urges in the present moment without self-judgment. Mindfulness-based counseling can teach you how to manage issues related to addiction.

For example, you might learn how to gain more acceptance for challenging emotions or pay more attention to your urges so you can respond to them with more self-control. But, again, no studies directly investigate the link between mindfulness-based therapy and love addiction.

12-Step Programs

A 12-step program is a type of support group that allows you to connect with other love addicts. You can freely share your experiences with others who understand and learn a guided framework supporting your recovery journey.

While 12-step programs are similar to group therapy, they aren’t always guided by a licensed therapist. Some of the most common 12-step programs for love addiction include Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA.) and Love Addicts Anonymous (LAA.)

How to Find the Right Love Addiction Counselor

Several different types of counselors can treat behavioral addictions, like licensed professional counselors (LPCs) or licensed clinical social workers (LCSWs). But not all of them will be right for you and your unique needs.

When choosing the best therapist for your love addiction, consider the following factors: 

• Past Experience: Have they worked with people who have love addictions in the past? Or do they primarily specialize in treating other types of behavioral addictions or more general relationship issues?
• Treatment Type: What kind of sessions and treatment methods do they offer? Do they list therapy styles on their website, like CBT or DBT?
• Location: Where is their practice located? If it’s too far for you to commute, will they do telehealth sessions over the phone or the Internet?
• Cost: How much will each session cost? Do they charge lateness or cancellation fees or offer sliding scales for lower-income people?

Don’t be afraid to reach out to multiple people or try sessions with different counselors until you find someone who feels like a good fit.

Find a Love Addiction Counselor Near You

Love addiction can cause stress for you and your partner and lead to a cycle of toxic relationships. However, certain counseling methods may allow you to work through your concerns in a safe environment and lay the foundation for more healthy, lasting romances.

To find counselors who treat love addiction, consider asking your primary care physician or any local addiction treatment center. Another option is to try the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)’s online treatment locator, which can help you find therapists who treat behavioral addictions.

Visit our treatment help page today to explore more treatment options and find the right support for your recovery. You don’t have to do this alone—help is just a step away.

Written by

Brooke Helton

Medical Content Writer

Brooke Helton is a freelance writer passionate about wellness topics, especially the relationship between physical and mental health. As a contributor to AddictionHelp.com, she’s proud to combine her writing and research skills to inform and empower people impacted by substance abuse.

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Kent S. Hoffman, D.O.

Founder & Chief Medical Officer

Kent S. Hoffman, D.O. has been an expert in addiction medicine for more than 15 years. In addition to managing a successful family medical practice, Dr. Hoffman is board certified in addiction medicine by the American Osteopathic Academy of Addiction Medicine (AOAAM). Dr. Hoffman has successfully treated hundreds of patients battling addiction. Dr. Hoffman is the Co-Founder and Chief Medical Officer of AddictionHelp.com and ensures the website’s medical content and messaging quality.