Alateen
When someone you love drinks too much, it can take over your whole life — but it isn't your fault, and you don't have to handle it alone. Alateen is a free, teen-led group of kids who get it.
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What Is Alateen?
Alateen is a free support group for teenagers whose lives have been touched by someone else’s drinking. Maybe it’s a parent, a stepparent, a sibling, or a close friend. Whoever it is, you live with the fallout, and Alateen is a room full of other young people who do too.
It’s part of Al-Anon Family Groups, and it has one job: to help you feel steadier, less alone, and more like yourself again. Not to fix the person who drinks. To take care of you.
You don’t need a diagnosis, money, or your parents’ permission to belong here. If someone’s drinking has hurt you or worried you, you already qualify.
Hurting because of someone's drinking? None of this is your fault, and help is here today.
- If you’re thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988 right now. It’s free, confidential, and someone will pick up. You don’t have to explain everything, just reach out.
- Alateen meetings are free, anonymous, and full of people your age who get it. You can find one online today and join without giving your real name.
- If you’re not safe at home, you can reach the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. Trained counselors are there 24/7 and can help you figure out what to do next.
- Alateen is a free support group for teens affected by a family member or friend’s drinking, usually around ages 13 to 18.
- A person’s drinking is not your fault and not your job to fix, and Alateen exists partly to help you put that belief down.
- It’s about you, your feelings and your coping, not about getting the person who drinks to stop.
- Meetings are teen-led with a trained adult to keep them safe, free, and anonymous, and you can find one online today without giving your real name.
Who Alateen Is for and Why None of It Is Your Fault
Alateen is for young people, generally teenagers, who are dealing with the drinking of someone they love. You might be the kid who never knows which version of a parent is coming home. You might be covering for someone, keeping secrets, or lying awake listening for the front door. You might feel angry one minute and guilty the next, like somehow you should be able to make it better.
Here’s the truth, and it’s worth reading twice: a person’s drinking is not your fault, and it is not your job to fix. Alcohol use disorder is a real illness. It is not caused by anything you did, said, or failed to do.
Kids in these situations often carry a heavy, quiet belief that if they were just better, calmer, or quieter, the drinking would stop. That belief is a lie, and Alateen exists partly to help you put it down.
How Alateen Works
Alateen runs on a few simple ideas that have helped young people for decades. None of it is complicated, and you can take what helps and leave the rest.
Teen-Led Meetings with an Adult Who Keeps It Safe
Alateen meetings are led by the teens themselves. You and other young people share what’s going on, listen to each other, and trade ideas for coping. A trained adult, an Al-Anon Member sponsor, sits in to keep the meeting safe and on track, but they’re not there to lecture you or report back to your family. The room belongs to you.
The Three C’s
A lot of what Alateen teaches comes down to three short reminders, called the Three C’s:
- You didn’t Cause it. Their drinking started long before you, and it isn’t a punishment for anything you did.
- You can’t Control it. No amount of hiding bottles, being perfect, or begging will make someone stop. That power was never in your hands.
- You can’t Cure it. You can love someone and still not be able to heal their addiction. Only they can do that work, usually with real help.
| What you might believe | What’s actually true |
|---|---|
| “If I were better, they’d stop.” | You didn’t cause it, and you can’t be good enough to fix it. |
| “I have to keep this a secret.” | You deserve a safe place to talk, and Alateen is built for exactly that. |
| “I should be able to handle this alone.” | You’re a kid carrying an adult-sized weight, and asking for help is strength. |
| “Nobody else gets it.” | Every person in that room has lived a version of your story. |
The 12 Steps, Made for You
Alateen uses the same 12 steps as Al-Anon, adapted for young people. Don’t let the word “steps” scare you off. They’re really a set of tools for letting go of what you can’t control, taking honest care of your own feelings, and building a life that’s yours, no matter what the person who drinks decides to do. You work them at your own pace, and nobody grades you.
Anonymity, So It’s Safe to Be Real
What you say in Alateen is private. Members go by first names, and the agreement is simple: what’s shared in the room stays in the room. That privacy is what makes it safe to finally say the things you’ve been holding in.
Does Alateen Actually Help?
Yes, and you don’t have to take that on faith. The research on family-focused programs is clear that helping the people around someone’s drinking is worthwhile in its own right. Approaches built to support affected family members measurably improve their own wellbeing, not just the drinker’s[1]. Programs like this exist because supporting the family genuinely works, and you are part of the family that deserves support.
There’s also good evidence that 12-step fellowships, the same family Alateen belongs to, do real and lasting good for the people in them[2].
For a lot of teens, Alateen is the first place they exhale. You learn that you’re not crazy, not alone, and not responsible for an adult’s choices. That shift, from carrying it all by yourself to sharing it with people who understand, is where the relief starts.
Alateen was started by a teenager. In 1957, a 17-year-old in California who was living with a parent’s drinking gathered a handful of other young people in the same boat, and Alateen was born. It exists today because one teen decided he shouldn’t have to deal with it alone, and neither should anyone else.
Alateen and Al-Anon
Alateen is the teen branch of Al-Anon, the worldwide fellowship for anyone affected by another person’s drinking. Same ideas, same tools, just a room set aside for younger people so you’re talking with others your own age instead of a room full of adults.
Plenty of people start in Alateen and later move into Al-Anon as they get older, and the two often meet in the same buildings on the same nights. If a parent or older sibling in your life is also struggling with someone’s drinking, Al-Anon is there for them.
Learn how Al-Anon supports families →
How to Find an Alateen Meeting and Get Started
Getting started is easier than you’d think, and you can do it privately. Al-Anon’s official website has a meeting finder for both in-person and online Alateen meetings, so you can join from your room if that feels safer right now.
You don’t have to talk your first time. You can just listen, see how it feels, and come back if it helps. There’s no sign-up, no fee, and no commitment.
If the people in your life are struggling and you want to understand the bigger picture, or help a parent find their own support, you can explore real options.
Find treatment and recovery support that fit →
The next step doesn’t have to be a big one. Our treatment centers directory can point you to the right level of care. Reaching out today is a real step forward — and one you can make right now.
Frequently asked questions
What is Alateen?
Alateen is a free support group for teenagers whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking, like a parent, sibling, or friend. It’s the teen branch of Al-Anon Family Groups, and meetings are led by young people themselves with a trained adult sponsor present to keep things safe. The focus is on helping you cope and feel better, not on getting the person who drinks to stop.
Who can go to Alateen?
Alateen is for young people, generally teenagers around ages 13 to 18, though it varies by group. The only requirement is that someone’s drinking has affected your life. You don’t need a diagnosis, any money, or your parents’ permission. If a relative or friend’s drinking has hurt or worried you, you belong there.
Is Alateen free and anonymous?
Yes to both. Alateen never charges dues or fees, and there’s nothing to sign up for. It’s also anonymous: members use first names only, and what’s said in the room stays in the room. That privacy is what makes it safe to finally talk about things you may have been keeping secret.
What are the Three C's in Alateen?
The Three C’s are short reminders Alateen teaches: you didn’t Cause the drinking, you can’t Control it, and you can’t Cure it. They’re there to lift the weight a lot of teens carry, the belief that if they were just better or quieter, the drinking would stop. A person’s addiction is a real illness, and it was never your fault or your job to fix.
Will my parents find out what I say at Alateen?
No. Alateen is built on anonymity, and the adult sponsor in the room is there to keep the meeting safe, not to report back to your family. What you share stays private. That’s the whole point: a place where you can be honest about what’s happening at home without it getting back to anyone.
How do I find an Alateen meeting?
Al-Anon’s official website has a meeting finder for both in-person and online Alateen meetings, so you can join from home if that feels safer. There’s no fee and no commitment, and you don’t have to talk your first time, you can just listen and see how it feels. If you’re ever in crisis or thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988 any time.
Get Treatment Help
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, getting help is just a phone call away, or consider trying therapy online with BetterHelp.
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