Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)

What Is Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)?

Co-Dependents Anonymous is a support group of people who share a common desire to develop healthy relationships.

CoDA follows a 12-step structure (similar to Alcoholics Anonymous) and focuses on emotional healing, personal responsibility, and spiritual growth. It was founded in 1986 as a way to support those who struggle with codependency.

Through meetings and shared experience, members work to break free from destructive relationship cycles and build more fulfilling connections based on mutual respect and self-love.

Am I Co-Dependent?

Codependency can be hard to recognize, especially if it’s been part of your relationships for a long time.

Many people with codependent traits don’t even realize they’re putting others’ needs ahead of their own until it leads to emotional burnout, resentment, or loss of identity.

Common signs of codependency can include:

• Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions, choices, or problems
• Difficulty setting or maintaining healthy boundaries
• A strong fear of rejection, abandonment, or conflict
• Seeking approval or validation through caretaking or people-pleasing
• Struggling to identify your own needs, wants, or feelings
• Staying in harmful relationships out of guilt, obligation, or fear of being alone

If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to keep repeating these patterns. CoDA offers a path toward healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self.

How Does Co-Dependents Anonymous Work?

CoDA meetings are a safe and encouraging environment where people dealing with co-dependency issues can share their experiences and learn from one another without fear of being judged or shamed.

CoDA is based on working through 12 steps one at a time to help members achieve emotional clarity, accountability, and self-awareness.

Key elements of CoDA include:

• The 12 Steps: A spiritual, structured pathway for recovery and growth.
• Fellowship: A non-judgmental community of peers who understand codependency firsthand.
• Anonymity and Safety: Meetings are confidential, and participation is always voluntary.
• Spiritual (Not Religious) Support: Members define their own concept of a Higher Power.
• Sponsorship and Service: Optional guidance from experienced members who can walk others through the steps.

Meetings take place in person, online, and by phone, which makes it more accessible to people regardless of where they live.

The 12 Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous

Working through each of the 12 steps, in order, is a key part of CoDA. Each step provides a framework for self-improvement and personal growth as members become more self-reliant and emotionally resilient.

Here are the 12 Steps of CoDA, as outlined in their official literature:

1. We admitted we were powerless over others—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other codependents and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Who Can Benefit from CoDA?

CoDA is for anyone who finds themselves stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns. Most importantly, you don’t need a diagnosis or specific background to attend!

Many members come to CoDA because they:

• Struggle to set or maintain boundaries
• Feel responsible for other people’s feelings or behaviors
• Often put others’ needs ahead of their own
• Fear abandonment, conflict, or being alone
• Lose their sense of identity in relationships
• Experience emotional exhaustion or low self-worth

Whether these patterns appear in your romantic partnerships, family dynamics, friendships, or caregiving roles, CoDA offers tools to help you foster healthier, more authentic relationships.

How to Find a CoDA Meeting

CoDA offers multiple meeting formats to fit a range of needs. CoDA is an international organization with communities all over the world.

If you’re interested in joining a meeting, you can visit their online meeting finder to search for the best type of meeting for you.

Meeting formats include:

• In-person meetings
• Online meetings via Zoom or other platforms
• Phone meetings (great for those without reliable internet)

Meetings may include readings, member shares, step work discussions, or newcomer-focused formats. There’s no need to register or speak unless you’re comfortable doing so.

Tips for Getting Started with CoDA

If you’re new to the program, here are a few tips to help you settle in:

• Start by listening: There’s no pressure to share right away—many people find comfort just hearing others’ experiences and knowing they aren’t alone.
• Try different meetings: Each group has its own vibe. Check out a few to give you an idea of what the program is like overall, and it can help you find a space that feels right for you.
• Read CoDA literature: Materials like The CoDA Blue Book or Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence can offer clarity and support.
• Consider a sponsor: Sponsors are members who have already worked the steps and can provide one-on-one support.
• Be patient with the process (and yourself): Healing from codependency takes time, and every small step forward counts.

Find a Meeting Near You

Ready to take the first step toward healthier relationships? CoDA meetings are open to anyone seeking change. Visit their official meeting directory to find an option that fits your needs.

If you’re also in crisis or need additional mental health support, call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for free, confidential help 24/7.

Written by

Jessica Miller

Editorial Director

Jessica Miller is the Editorial Director of Addiction Help. Jessica graduated from the University of South Florida (USF) with an English degree and combines her writing expertise and passion for helping others to deliver reliable information to those impacted by addiction. Informed by her personal journey to recovery and support of loved ones in sobriety, Jessica's empathetic and authentic approach resonates deeply with the Addiction Help community.

Reviewed by

• Fact-Checked
• Editor

Kent S. Hoffman, D.O.

Co-Founder & Chief Medical Officer

Kent S. Hoffman, D.O. has been an expert in addiction medicine for more than 15 years. In addition to managing a successful family medical practice, Dr. Hoffman is board certified in addiction medicine by the American Osteopathic Academy of Addiction Medicine (AOAAM). Dr. Hoffman has successfully treated hundreds of patients battling addiction. Dr. Hoffman is the Co-Founder and Chief Medical Officer of AddictionHelp.com and ensures the website’s medical content and messaging quality.