Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
What Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) is, how its 12 steps and self-defined bottom lines work, and how to find a free meeting.
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What Is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous?
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) is a free, anonymous, 12-step fellowship for people whose lives have become unmanageable through compulsive patterns around sex, love, romance, or relationships. It’s also called The Augustine Fellowship, and it started in Boston in 1976 when a member of Alcoholics Anonymous realized the same peer-support approach could help with a different kind of compulsion.
The program isn’t about judging anyone’s sex life or love life. It’s about a pattern that’s taken control, the thing you keep coming back to even after it costs you sleep, money, relationships, or self-respect, and a room full of people who get it because they’ve lived it.
Recovery happens through the 12 steps, a sponsor who’s a few steps ahead of you, and meetings you can join in person, by phone, or online.
In crisis, or a pattern is putting you or others at risk right now? Help is confidential and available today.
- If you’re having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, call or text 988 now. It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7.
- For free, confidential help finding treatment, call SAMHSA at 1-800-662-HELP (4357), any time, any day.
- SLAA meetings are free and anonymous, and you can join one today. You don’t need a referral, a diagnosis, or any money to walk in.
- Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a free, anonymous 12-step fellowship, also known as The Augustine Fellowship.
- It covers a wide range, from compulsive sex and love or romance addiction to relationship dependency, and the avoidance side too.
- You define your own “bottom lines,” so sobriety means stopping your harmful behaviors, not giving up sex or love.
- The only requirement to join is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction.
How Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Works
SLAA borrows the structure that’s helped millions in Alcoholics Anonymous and points it at compulsive patterns of sex and love. A few pieces work together.
The 12 Steps
The steps are the core of the program: a sequence of honest self-examination, making amends, and ongoing growth that members work through with a sponsor at their own pace. You don’t do them alone, and you don’t do them perfectly.
The first step is simply admitting the pattern has become unmanageable, and each step after builds on that. Many people find the steps are less about willpower and more about finally not carrying it by themselves.
Bottom Lines and What Sobriety Means
Here SLAA differs from how people often imagine it: there’s no blanket ban on sex or love. Instead, each member defines their own “bottom lines,” the specific behaviors that take their life out of control, and commits to stopping those.
For one person that might be anonymous hookups. For another, compulsively chasing a new romance to escape being alone. For another, returning again and again to a relationship that keeps causing harm.
Sobriety in SLAA means staying away from your bottom-line behaviors. It looks different for everyone and leaves room for healthy intimacy.
The Full Range It Covers, Including Anorexia
SLAA holds space for more than the patterns people expect. It covers sex addiction, love and romance addiction, romantic obsession, and emotional or relationship dependency.
It also names the opposite extreme, what the fellowship calls anorexia: the compulsive avoidance of sex, love, or social connection. Someone who walls themselves off from intimacy out of fear can be just as stuck as someone who can’t stop, and both are welcome in the same rooms.
Sponsorship
A sponsor is a member with more time in recovery who agrees to walk with you, one on one. They share their experience, help you work the steps, and pick up the phone when you’re close to acting on a bottom-line behavior. It’s not therapy and it’s not a boss, it’s someone who’s been where you are and stayed. Finding a sponsor is usually one of the first things people are encouraged to do.
Meetings and Anonymity
Meetings are the regular rhythm of the program. People share their experience, strength, and hope, and no one is required to speak. They run in person, over the phone, and online, so you can find one almost any hour of the day from anywhere.
Anonymity is the bedrock. What’s said in the room stays in the room, and members use first names only. That protection is part of why people can finally be truthful about a part of life that carries so much shame.
Does Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Work?
There isn’t a large body of research on SLAA specifically, so the fair answer is that the program is best understood through the broader evidence on 12-step mutual help, plus the lived experience of its members.
The closest hard evidence comes from the most-studied 12-step fellowship of all. A major Cochrane review found that structured programs to engage people in Alcoholics Anonymous and 12-step facilitation were as effective as or more effective than other established treatments, like cognitive behavioral therapy, at keeping people abstinent over time, and that they also saved on healthcare costs[1].
SLAA isn’t alcohol, and that difference matters. But it runs on the same engine: peer support, sponsorship, the steps, and showing up regularly. Those ingredients have a strong track record.
What members tend to report is harder to measure but no less real: less shame, fewer relapses into the behaviors that were wrecking their lives, and the slow return of trust in their relationships.
Sobriety in SLAA isn’t one-size-fits-all, and that’s by design. Unlike a program built around total abstinence, SLAA asks each member to define their own bottom lines, the specific behaviors they need to stop, so a healthy relationship or a normal sex life isn’t the thing you’re giving up. The point is to get free of the compulsion, not to give up love. For a lot of people, that flexibility is exactly what makes recovery feel possible instead of impossible.
SLAA vs. SAA and Love Addicts Anonymous
People often mix up the fellowships that overlap with SLAA. They share the 12-step foundation but differ in focus, and the right one is the one whose meetings and language fit you.
| Fellowship | Main focus | How it overlaps with SLAA |
|---|---|---|
| Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) | both sex and love or romance patterns, plus the avoidance side | the broadest of the three |
| Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) | compulsive sexual behavior specifically | narrower, centered on sex rather than love or romance |
| Love Addicts Anonymous (LAA) | love and relationship addiction, romantic obsession | narrower, centered on the love and attachment side |
If your struggle is mainly compulsive sexual behavior, you may feel more at home with Sex Addicts Anonymous. If it centers on romantic obsession or losing yourself in relationships, Love Addicts Anonymous may speak your language more directly. SLAA tends to fit people who see both threads in their story, and plenty of members attend more than one fellowship. There’s no wrong door, and no commitment in trying a meeting.
How to Find a Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Meeting
Getting started is free and low-pressure. SLAA’s official website lists meetings by location and runs a full schedule of phone and online meetings you can join from anywhere, often the same day you decide to go.
Many people start with an online meeting just to listen, with no pressure to speak or share anything. You can find a sponsor and begin the steps once you’ve gotten a feel for the rooms.
The next step doesn’t have to be a big one. Our treatment centers directory can point you to the right level of care. Reaching out today is a real step forward — and one you can make right now.
Frequently asked questions
What is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous?
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), also called The Augustine Fellowship, is a free, anonymous 12-step fellowship for people whose lives have become unmanageable through compulsive patterns of sex, love, romance, or relationships. Founded in 1976, it uses the 12 steps, sponsorship, and regular meetings, in person, by phone, and online, to help members recover. It doesn’t judge anyone’s sex or love life; the focus is the compulsion that’s taken control.
Is SLAA only about sex addiction?
No. SLAA covers a wide range, including sex addiction, love and romance addiction, romantic obsession, and emotional or relationship dependency. It also addresses the opposite extreme, what the fellowship calls anorexia, the compulsive avoidance of sex, love, or social connection. Someone who shuts down intimacy out of fear belongs in the same rooms as someone who can’t stop. If your struggle is mainly compulsive sexual behavior, Sex Addicts Anonymous may fit better.
What are bottom lines in SLAA?
Bottom lines are the specific behaviors a member commits to stop, the ones that take their life out of control. SLAA doesn’t ban all sex or love. Instead, each person defines their own bottom lines with help from a sponsor, so sobriety looks different for everyone and still leaves room for healthy intimacy. For one person a bottom line might be anonymous hookups; for another, compulsively chasing a new romance to avoid being alone.
Is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous free and anonymous?
Yes. SLAA meetings are free to attend, and there are no dues or fees, the fellowship is self-supporting through small voluntary contributions. Anonymity is a core principle: members use first names only, and what’s shared in a meeting stays in the room. That protection is part of why people can finally be truthful about a part of life that carries so much shame. You don’t need a referral or a diagnosis to join.
Does SLAA actually work?
There isn’t a large body of research on SLAA specifically, but it runs on the same engine as the most-studied 12-step program. A major Cochrane review found that programs engaging people in Alcoholics Anonymous and 12-step facilitation were as effective as or more effective than treatments like CBT at keeping people abstinent over time, and saved on healthcare costs[1]. SLAA isn’t alcohol, but its core ingredients, peer support, sponsorship, the steps, and showing up, have a strong track record.
How do I find a SLAA meeting?
SLAA’s official website lists meetings by location and runs a full schedule of phone and online meetings you can join from anywhere, often the same day. Many people start with an online meeting just to listen, with no pressure to speak. Once you’ve gotten a feel for the rooms, you can find a sponsor and begin working the 12 steps. If you’re in crisis, call or text 988, and for help finding treatment, call SAMHSA at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
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