Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)

What Is Adult Children of Alcoholics?

Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), also known as Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families (ACA/DF), is a 12-Step fellowship for people who grew up in families affected by alcoholism or other forms of dysfunction.

Even years after leaving home, many people carry the emotional impact of those experiences, which psychologists often refer to as developmental trauma. This can manifest as struggles with trust, intimacy, or self-worth that quietly shape adult life.

ACA provides a safe space to begin healing those wounds and to build healthier ways of living.

Many people turn to ACA because they struggle with:

• Feeling overly responsible for others while neglecting their own needs.
• Difficulty forming or maintaining close, healthy relationships.
• Low self-esteem or a harsh inner critic.
• A deep-seated fear of conflict, abandonment, or rejection.
• A tendency to seek approval from others at any cost.
• Chronic anxiety, depression, or stress linked to their family history.

ACA helps members recognize how growing up in a dysfunctional home still affects them today, and offers tools to “re-parent” themselves with compassion, patience, and care.

By connecting with others who share similar backgrounds, members find relief, validation, and a path toward greater freedom and peace of mind.

How Does ACA Work?

Adult Children of Alcoholics works by bringing together people who share the common experience of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional household. These early environments often left children with deep emotional wounds—feelings of insecurity, fear, or a belief that they had to stay invisible to survive.

ACA provides a supportive space to begin addressing those patterns, understand how they continue to play out in adulthood, and find healthier ways forward.

Meetings are the heart of the program. In these meetings, members share honestly about their struggles and listen to others without judgment. Many newcomers discover that the feelings they thought were theirs alone—shame, loneliness, or being “different” from others—are common among adult children.

The program is guided by the Twelve Steps (adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous), which offer a spiritual and practical path toward growth and self-acceptance.

Alongside the Steps, ACA introduces unique tools such as:

• The Laundry List: A set of 14 common traits and survival patterns that adult children often carry into their adult lives, such as people-pleasing, fear of authority figures, or difficulty with boundaries.
• Re-Parenting: Learning how to give oneself the care, protection, and guidance that may have been missing in childhood.
• The Inner Child: Recognizing and nurturing the vulnerable part of oneself that still carries pain from early experiences.

Through working the program, members shift from living in constant reaction to their past to creating a more balanced and fulfilling present. ACA does NOT focus on blaming parents; instead, it provides a pathway for personal healing, emotional freedom, and healthier relationships moving forward.

The Twelve Steps of ACA

While ACA members are not always battling alcohol use themselves, the Twelve Steps provide a powerful structure for healing the emotional effects of their childhood. The Steps help adult children recognize old survival patterns, let go of self-blame, and build healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.

The Twelve Steps of ACA are:

1. We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others who still suffer, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

What to Expect at an ACA Meeting

Walking into an ACA meeting for the first time can feel both hopeful and intimidating. ACA meetings are welcoming spaces where you can take things at your own pace. A typical meeting may include readings from ACA literature, members sharing their experiences, and time for reflection.

You may hear people talk about how their childhood still shapes their adult relationships, self-image, or sense of safety in the world. Listening to others often helps newcomers realize they are not alone. You are never required to share until you feel ready. Simply sitting and listening is enough, especially in the beginning.

ACA meetings are built on principles of anonymity, confidentiality, and mutual respect. What is shared in the room stays in the room. There is no cross-talk, no judgment, and no advice-giving—just understanding and the shared commitment to recovery.

Finding an ACA Meeting

Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings are available in many communities and are also offered online and by phone. Anyone who grew up in a family impacted by alcoholism or dysfunction is welcome.

To explore available options, visit the official Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization website, where you can search for in-person meetings near you or join virtual gatherings.

Find Healing and Support

Growing up in a dysfunctional home can have lasting effects, but you don’t have to manage them alone. Professional, confidential help is available. You can connect with a qualified therapist through convenient online therapy or speak to someone immediately by calling the free SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357.

Our Find Treatment Help page has resources to help you take the next step in your healing journey.

Written by

Jessica Miller

Editorial Director

Jessica Miller is the Editorial Director of Addiction Help. Jessica graduated from the University of South Florida (USF) with an English degree and combines her writing expertise and passion for helping others to deliver reliable information to those impacted by addiction. Informed by her personal journey to recovery and support of loved ones in sobriety, Jessica's empathetic and authentic approach resonates deeply with the Addiction Help community.

Reviewed by

• Fact-Checked
• Editor

Kent S. Hoffman, D.O.

Co-Founder & Chief Medical Officer

Kent S. Hoffman, D.O. has been an expert in addiction medicine for more than 15 years. In addition to managing a successful family medical practice, Dr. Hoffman is board certified in addiction medicine by the American Osteopathic Academy of Addiction Medicine (AOAAM). Dr. Hoffman has successfully treated hundreds of patients battling addiction. Dr. Hoffman is the Co-Founder and Chief Medical Officer of AddictionHelp.com and ensures the website’s medical content and messaging quality.